Her name was Ruby, she was not what you would call a classically beautiful woman. She was, however, his idea of a classic beauty. He didn’t know what society deemed to be beautiful. These things come and go in fads. Weren’t men obsessed with blondes in the 1950s? Maybe that was just Hollywood’s obsession; screenwriters fascinated by the image of an ice-cold blonde who is either the victim of murder or the cause of someone else’s murder. Those women were beautiful but he always preferred the darker ones; he’d take Ava Gardner over Marilyn Monroe.
His name was Peter and he knew working at Fern Accountants was never going to be fun, but with Ruby around every day was a lot more bearable. Her mere presence could turn the drabbest environment into something slightly more tolerable. Ruby was everything in his eyes; she was near perfection to him. Her straight black hair flowed down just past her shoulders and seemed to shine all the time; like black silk. She had brilliant blue eyes that were the perfect complement to her black hair. A thin face with a china-white complexion; flawless it seemed even up close. She could wear her hair in a ponytail, tied up in a bun or wear it loose. Whatever style she chose it would always create the most intense effect.
She was thin with small breasts but she knew how to dress to make her body look sensational. When she wore skirts below or above the knee her ass looked great. Somehow when she wore pants her ass and legs could still turn him on. She was sexy all the time and without Ruby life at Fern’s would be tantamount to mental torture; a place so dull it would surely breach the Employment Act on the grounds of intolerable boredom.
He had to fuck her; that much was certain. He fantasised every day about his debut liaison with her. He ran endless reels of pornography in his imagination featuring him and Ruby. In these mental reels he was a star performer. Every day he played out the scenes of them engaged in savage sexual encounters. The scenes always went perfectly; he always made her come. Hearing her reach orgasm was always such a thrill; even the sound of her voice was sexy. She didn’t have to say anything, just the noises were enough. Moans and groans making their own sweet sounds like a piece of unscripted music, and always reaching the most intense crescendo.
He didn’t know her very well, they rarely spoke. Their jobs didn’t involve much input from one another. He preferred it that way though. It would be impossible to work alongside her. He can barely contain himself as it is, God knows what it would be like standing close to her every day; seeing those brilliant eyes up close, breathing in her perfumes. He could only imagine it being like some joyful torment.
His latest fantasy involving Ruby was simple enough. They would be left alone together after work and she would be stressed out and feeling overwhelmed by the number of deadline tasks facing her. He, like a true gentleman, would offer to help and she would gratefully accept. As dusk descends they sit together in the soft light of the office and work their way through as many of her tasks as they can. But as they work their concentration begins to lapse, and is slowly replaced by sexual urges that seem to creep up on them.
‘Maybe we should just send out an email and ask them which calendar dates suits them for the training,’ Ruby says referring to the schedule she was trying to figure out for a client. ‘Let them decide; they might appreciate the flexibility, don’t you think?’ He gazed at her and felt lost in the blueness of her eyes.
‘No…not a good idea,’ he replied. ‘In my experience clients are a lot like kids. They need to be told what to do and when to do it.’ As he looked at her he could feel himself trembling, not just butterflies in his stomach, but all over his body. ‘Give a client that kind of leeway and he’ll end up changing his mind again and again. It gets too messy. Better to include a list of dates and tell them these are the available training dates.’
There was another pause and this time there eyes locked for a moment. In that moment, just a second or two, he was sure the attraction was running both ways. It wasn’t just him feeling it, she was feeling it too.
‘If it were up to me I’d be pretty inflexible about it. In the email I’d include a short paragraph in bold type with the following message:
The client must understand the following dates are non-negotiable, so choose carefully because there are no alternative dates available. Deal with it.’
He awaited her response which seemed to take a long time, but then she smiled. He smiled back and felt a rush of something flow through his brain. He didn’t know what it was; adrenalin, sexual pheromones, joy, something.
‘Bit strong perhaps,’ Ruby said with a smile that now seemed to light up her whole face and make her even more attractive. Her perfume was having a strange effect on him, like it was drugging him or making him drunk. It was a gorgeous fragrance but he could not identify the aroma.
‘Can I ask you something Ruby?’ She looked at him and could sense a change in the air, but she maintained her smile. ‘Oh oh…that sounds ominous.’ He felt nervous but unafraid as he spoke.
‘What is that perfume you’re wearing? What’s it called?’ She let out a laugh. ‘Oh dear…why? You want some.’ She laughed again. He laughed with her and could hardly comprehend the moment and what he was feeling.
‘No… you wear it better.’ He smiled at her and she smiled right back. ‘It’s just such a beautiful smell. It suits you, it’s perfect on you. I’d like to know its name.’ She paused now and felt just a little anxious. She wasn’t quite sure if she should nip this conversation in the bud or let it run its course.
Something inside her settled the dilemma pretty quickly. ‘Felix…it’s called Felix.’ His gaze suddenly made her feel shy and she had to avert her eyes from his. There was a long pause; long enough to run his gaze down from her face all the way to her feet. Her face brought instant joy, but even her thin neck looked delicately beautiful. The open collar of her white shirt revealed just enough of her neck to titillate. Her small breasts looked perfectly round under her shirt. Even her slender waist aroused him. Her black skirt covered just enough to make him wonder and crave what lies underneath. He glanced down at her legs. Her black nylon tights shone under the lights and made her legs look glorious, from mid-thigh all the way down to her feet. Her black suede high heel shoes were like the perfect finish to a living breathing work of art.
‘That’s a strange name for a perfume,’ he said almost in a whisper.
‘It’s Latin,’ she said. ‘It means happy…at least that’s what the sales lady in Moon’s told me.’ They locked eyes again and neither could think of anything more to say. He reached out his hand and laid the palm on her shoulder, then slowly moved it down her arm until it reached her hand. Her fingers were cold and he held them up close to his mouth and breathed warm air on them to heat them up. Then he reached out again and laid his hand on her cheek. The skin on her face was soft and smooth but also felt cold like her hand. ‘It’s been a little chilly in here all day,’ she said nervously. ‘That heating keeps breaking down.’ He didn’t say anything in response. Instead, he took her face in both his hands and leaned forward kissing her softly at first. Her lips were sensational and he felt a jolt of electricity run through him.
He pulled her closer to him and she didn’t resist. He kissed her harder and put his arms around her waist. These are the lips and waist he’s been dreaming about for months; relentless day dreams and even in proper dreams in his sleep. The best dreams he’s ever had. He pulled her onto his lap and started rubbing her thighs outside and between her legs. He moved his hand up to her groin. Her panties felt warm and he could feel her slit through them.
Her breathing got heavier and so did his, and then suddenly a thought occurred to him; he knew he didn’t have any protection with him. He also knew he couldn’t resist her and he was not going to stop this moment for anything. He pulled her up to a standing position and then as gently as he could he laid her down on the desk. He lifted up her skirt and opened her legs. Her black tights and panty looked so good he didn’t want to remove them. He started tearing at them with both hands. He ripped the pantyhose open and pushed her panty aside. He unbuckled his belt, opened his pants and let them drop to the floor.
For one second he realised where he was, but he didn’t care; there was no turning back from this. His cock was as hard as it could be and the erection felt almost painful. He parted her lips and pushed two of his fingers into her. She was warm and wet and he was glad to feel that wetness because he could barely contain himself. He shoved his cock into her and began riding her. He desperately wanted to satisfy her but trying to control his own desire was another matter. Whatever fantasies he had about Ruby were now pale in comparison to the real thing. She was even better than in his dreams about her. Her body felt so intense and her pussy felt perfect. This is it he thought; this is the perfect fuck with the perfect woman.
It was as if her pussy was the perfect size for him, every stroke in and out of her felt more intense. She even sounded sexy to him. The sounds she made were so sensuous they only heightened the whole experience. He had never heard a woman react like this. He had heard women fake it before; they are not as good at faking it as they think. When it happens it’s a complete mood killer. Nothing will make him want to hurry up and get the orgasm over with faster than the sound of a woman faking it. It’s like the highest insult a woman could dish out; no words spoken only the sounds of pretence. It’s humiliating and it’s also the most awkward of predicaments. How do you quit sex halfway through because you know she’s faking it? Halfway means you’re too far gone and nature, faked or real, has to complete its task.
Ruby was no fake; the sounds she made were like someone desperately trying to catch their breath. She let out soft moans that were quiet and quick but gradually grew longer. Her finger nails started to dig into the skin on his arms where she gripped him tightly, as if letting go would result in her immediate demise, as if she would drown. He could feel the muscles in her thighs and calves clenching up.
He felt the start of an orgasm and in his mind he could hear himself scream… no! It’s too soon, way too soon. He needed much more than the few minutes he’s had. This may be an experience he’ll never have again. This could be the last truly great fuck he’s ever going to have in his life. There’s no way he can come now.
He slowed his rhythm down and closed his eyes for a moment. Crazy nonsensical images flashed in his mind. They meant nothing but they served their purpose, he could feel his orgasm subside. He opened his eyes and looked down at her. She was looking up at him with an expression that seemed perplexed. She was still breathing heavily in short fast breaths and she still looked amazing. She was about to ask him if there was something wrong but she didn’t have to. He started riding her again, and again her pussy muscles firmly gripped around his cock.
Every part of him was now in the throes of it. Her perfume filled his nostrils, his ears were filled with her sweet sounds, his hands clutched her delicate waist, and the very sight of her beautiful face made his heart pump faster. The second wave of an orgasm began to rise within him again and this time, he knew there would be no stopping it. This time he did not even try to stop it. He started to climax and it felt like an unstoppable force of nature. He lifted her legs up higher and slammed his groin up against her buttocks, his penis reaching as far into her as it could. She maintained control over the volume of her voice, she didn’t yell out loud, but she struggled to stifle her own moans in the middle of the office. She knew the office door was unlocked, anyone could walk in.
The orgasm felt like the longest he’d ever had, and he continued gyrating even as he felt himself going soft inside her. His dick still felt ultrasensitive and he kept it in her because it felt too good to withdraw. He got his breath back and looked down at her, and he could tell from her eyes and the soft moans she was making that she had not come. Her eyes looked like she was in pain and her voice, soft as it was, sounded like some terrible torture was being inflicted on her. He couldn’t leave her like this.
He pulled out his cock and dropped down on his knees. He placed his hands either side of her manicured vagina and spread her lips with his thumbs. Her clit was hard and peeping out; he carefully put his head between her legs and pressed his lips up against her clit. He licked and sucked her and he could feel her thigh muscles clinching either side of his head. He took hold of her legs and pushed them apart and continued sucking her clit.
Ruby let out the most beautiful sound; the sound of her orgasm. It was like music to his ears, he was desperate to make her come and now it was happening. It lasted much longer than his, and when it felt like he was about to stop she grabbed the back of his hair and pushed his face back into her pussy to keep him sucking. Eventually she was satisfied and released his hair from her grip. She lay motionless on the table feeling drained of all energy. He remained on his knees and stared at her pussy. He rubbed the outside of it and ran his palms up and down her thighs. She remained still and enjoyed all the wonderful sensations flowing around her body.
He stood up and looked down at her on the desk. He held out his hands to her. She reached up and took hold of his hands and he pulled her up into a sitting position. He kissed her and the kiss felt better than the first one. Now he could actually concentrate on her lips. He was too excited and too pent-up to appreciate the first kiss. Now he could feel her mouth properly, and it felt like no other woman’s mouth. Her tongue, her teeth, her taste, her lips…all perfect.
‘That was…I can’t even say. I’m lost for words,’ he said and smiled and then let out a heavy sigh.
‘Me too,’ she said and stood up. ‘And you owe me a pair of tights.’ They both looked down at her torn tights and laughed.
‘Yeah…I got a bit carried away there. Went a little crazy, but don’t worry I’m all better now.’ They laughed again and then a strange silence descended on them.
‘Shall we call it a day here?’ he asked her pointing to her desk strewn with paperwork.
‘Yes, I’m not even going to pretend I can concentrate on that lot now,’ she said. ‘Let’s just leave it all as it is and pick it up again first thing in the morning.’
They began fixing their clothes and making themselves presentable to the world. They put on their coats, switched off all the lights and the radio, set the alarm and locked up the office.
‘You know you’ll probably be able to claim for your tights,’ he said as they walked down the hall. ‘Just put it down as a work expense. I’m sure they’ll understand.’ She took hold of his hand.
‘I’m sure you’re right. Sex expenses…why not?’
It was his favourite fantasy so far. He had many wild dreams featuring Ruby in all kinds of scenarios, but he liked the late night office one the best. It was a simple fantasy requiring nothing more than plain old-fashioned mutual attraction. No candlelight dinners, no role plays or bondage tricks, no exotic Caribbean beaches or mood music, just him and Ruby and natural chemistry.
He arrived at Fern’s the next morning at the usual time to find Ruby and some other colleagues already in conversation over an early morning cup of coffee. He went into the canteen and made himself a cup then joined them in the office. The first one he noticed was Ruby. She had her above-the-knee black skirt on with the black tights and the black suede shoes. She also had her white shirt on opened at the neck. She looked almost exactly as she did in his favourite fantasy, apart from her hair. Today she wore it brushed back in a ponytail, and her jet black strands shone so brightly it seemed as though she had greased her hair with some kind of wet gel.
He wondered if the other guys in the office felt anything for Ruby. Was it just him fantasising about this woman every day? He glanced around the group and could not tell from any outward appearances if they did fancy her or not. There didn’t appear to be any obvious body language going on, but then they probably think the same thing about him. He probably doesn’t give off any obvious signs either despite the fact that he can’t stop looking at her. But when he looks, he looks only for quick moments here and there when he thinks Ruby, or the others, won’t notice.
That’s his problem though, and deep down he knows it. Instead of trying to hide his stares he should flaunt them and relish the thought of being caught. He should be glad to have Ruby approach him, even in anger and demand to know what he’s staring at. He often thought about it.
‘What on earth is your problem?’ she would say to him. ‘Every time I turn around you’re gawking at me. Knock it off will you, it’s getting real annoying.’ Then he would apologise but admit that her beauty was so captivating he couldn’t help it.
‘Oh please,’ she’d say and roll her bright blue eyes. ‘That’s just too cheesy…flattering but way too much cheese. Now look, if you’re interested in me I suggest you ask me out, but no more gawking like an infatuated schoolboy who hasn’t grown a pair yet. Understand?’ Then she walks away with a confident stride leaving him standing there half-aroused by her scolding, and half-elated by her advice. He considers her advice carefully all day then works himself up into a confident frenzy. He approaches her out in the car park after work.
‘Ok, Ruby let’s go out. I mean…I’m asking you out, as in a proper date, me and you, no more gawking. I promise if you go out with me all gawking will cease. I’m a man of my word.’ She would stare at him for a change.
‘Wow, I didn’t think you had it in you. But I guess you have a pair after all…so where will this proper date be then?’ He takes a deep breath and tries to think.
‘I haven’t the foggiest,’ he says and exhales loudly, then laughs. She smiles up at him and she knows she could cut him in two right now for being so unprepared, but she decides to cut him some slack instead.
‘Well let me know when you’ve figured it out.’ She smiles again and gets in her car. He watches her drive away and feels almost feint with excitement. Christ, even talking to her is intoxicating. And that’s all it takes, it’s always that easy in his fantasies.
The morning pre-work chit-chat in the office doesn’t interest him and he can’t focus on what anyone is saying around him. They’re talking about some new American TV show that’s supposedly so good they can’t seem to contain themselves, they witter away about it for close to twenty minutes. He hasn’t seen it yet and their fanatic analysis of the show doesn’t entice him in the slightest. He can’t focus on what they’re saying. He can only focus on Ruby and that’s difficult to do without her noticing him. As the conversation swirls around him with each co-worker taking their turn to dissect the TV show, he suddenly experiences a moment of clarity.
What if he were to approach her like in one of his fantasies? Not the sex on the desk fantasy, he couldn’t launch that one on her. But what about a simple fantasy like the encounter in the car park. He can pull that one off surely? It’s direct, nothing complex, just a basic statement.
‘Let’s go out sometime Ruby, me and you, get a drink someplace.’ State it like a matter-of-fact. Don’t ask her, tell her, show a bit of confidence. That’s all confidence is, isn’t it? Just saying something with a bit of nerve in your voice like you believe it, like it isn’t up for discussion. Then match that nerve with some self-assured body language; stand tall no slouching shoulders, look her in the eye, no fidgeting with your hands. Just simple little things that work wonders when aligned together and executed without overthinking it; doing it without making a big fuss over it, I mean really….how hard can it be?
Their boss entered the office and the morning chat ended abruptly. They headed to their various workstations and began their shift. As he sat at his desk he smiled to himself. He was starting to feel better already.
‘Actions will always speak louder than words,’ he whispered and when it comes to actions the simpler they are, the better. And if she says no? Well so what, he’ll live with it. Things will be awkward in the office for a while but he can live with that too. He makes up his mind with a sense of boldness that brings another smile to his face.
‘I’m gonna ask her out today, no more waiting,’ he assured himself. It’s amazing how just making a simple small decision can change your whole frame of mind. He felt good because he felt hopeful and unafraid, and that’s one of the happiest feelings in the world.
The rest of the day went by in a blur. From time to time she passed by him in the office and normally this would send him into a temporary tizzy, but not today. Today he has seen the light; he now fully understands that fantasies are fine but only in small doses. In large quantities they become oppressive and can bind a person in masochistic chains that often renders them hopeless. Today he has freed himself from the shackles of fantasy.
His new found freedom gave him a feeling of inner strength but also an inner peace. Ruby passed by him again as she went back to her desk. Her white blouse-black skirt and tights combo was so like his office desk fuck fantasy, it seemed to him to be a kind of omen. This increased his confidence and now he not only felt assured of himself but also felt certain that Ruby would say yes to his request for a date.
Five o’clock came and the office bees began switching off computer desktops, laptops and printers. They put on their coats and jackets and all but two of them left the office. Ruby and a colleague of hers called Graham stayed put. They seemed engrossed in whatever task they were working on, some collaborative effort. He decided to wait until one of them left; if Ruby leaves first he’ll follow her out to her car and pop the question there. If Graham leaves first he’ll approach her at her desk.
He continued working but as 5.30 approached he began to feel a little impatient. Ruby and Graham still sounded like they were nowhere near completion of their task. He could no longer focus on his own tasks now and really just wanted to shut down his computer. 5.45 came and went and at 6pm he turned off his desktop and put on his jacket. He looked over at his two colleagues and felt pissed off. He really wanted to ask her out today, he didn’t want to go home without an answer even if it was a no. He didn’t want to break the momentum.
For just a moment he paused and looked at them again. ‘I could go over there right now and ask Ruby out right in front of Graham,’ he thought to himself. The possibility sent him into a momentary trance then he became aware of his two colleagues looking at him with puzzled expressions.
‘You all right Peter?’ Graham asked him. A very awkward pause ensued, and in that silent pause the office suddenly felt very big.
‘No…I mean yes, I’m fine’ he replied, ‘just going to head off.’ Ruby turned back to her computer.
‘Ok then…see ya,’ she said with no trace of sincerity. Graham said nothing more. He made his way out of the office and down the stairs. As he walked in the stillness of the cold and empty building he felt a peculiar mixture of feelings. There was irritation and anger but regret and disappointment too. He walked out into the crisp evening air. It was dusk as he got into his car. He started the engine but did not put it into gear.
‘I hate this feeling more than any other,’ he said out loud as though vocalising it might somehow bring calmness or clarity to his emotions. ‘I fucking hate this fucking feeling…it’s the worst…goddam fucking regret.’ He could feel his temperature begin to rise, and his temper rise with it. He continued talking out loud as though he had a passenger in the car with him. He demanded answers of himself.
‘Why the hell should I be stuck with this shitty feeling? This fucking regret nonsense, why should I put up with it? Why can’t I have peace of mind? Why can’t I go home feeling good instead of feeling so goddamned…so…oh fuck this!’ he exclaimed. He hopped out of the car and headed back towards the office.
He keyed in the code for the external door and marched into the hallway and headed straight for the lift. He hit button four and waited. His patience ran out within seconds.
‘Damn you,’ he muttered through gritted teeth. He turned and started climbing the stairs; one step at a time at first then he jumped two steps at a time all the way to the fourth floor. He paused at the landing to catch his breath. He wasn’t sure if he was breathless or having some kind of panic attack.
‘Calm yourself,’ he said out loud. He realised he needed to pull himself together. He couldn’t go stomping into the office all flustered and declare his intentions in front of Ruby and Graham. It wouldn’t look right and they’d probably think he wasn’t all there, and he couldn’t risk that. He waited in the corridor long enough to regain control of his breathing. He felt his heart begin to slow down to a more reasonable pace. Then it sped up slightly again when he thought that perhaps he should just abort this mission and leave it for another day.
‘What’s the point in rushing into this?’ he thought. ‘It doesn’t have to be done right here, right now. I mean why the sudden panic? Tomorrow’s another day.’
He considered the words carefully and realised they were utterly false, he didn’t believe a word of it. ‘Cowardice,’ he whispered. ‘Those are the words of a coward. Of course, it must be done today. Carpe Diem.’
If he waits till tomorrow it won’t get done and he knows it because there will be some other excuse tomorrow. Ruby might call in sick, or the boss might suddenly assign him to some new account with utmost urgency. He could be stuck in client meetings all day, and possibly the rest of the week. No, that kind of procrastination has ruined too many opportunities in the past. He’ll be damned if he’s going to let another one slip by and spend yet more lonely nights regretting the past. ‘Actions are all that count now, words are useless,’ he whispered. ‘Actions….actions.’
He opened the office door and entered the room to find Graham on top of Ruby. His trousers were down around his ankles, and his scrawny white arse was pumping up and down like some kind of malfunctioning toy. Ruby was on her back on the desk with her bare legs wide open and her shoes and tights scattered on the floor. They were oblivious to anything and everything around them. He was making loud gasping sounds like a man twice his age and she was making the kind of quiet but passionate moans she made so often in his dreams. He stood and stared in a state of near shock, but also in a state of genuine bewilderment. The sight before him was virtually identical to his office fantasy. Ruby on the desk making those beautiful sounds, the sounds of pure pleasure and physical relief. They are the sounds that he so desperately wanted to hear and to cause, and now he can hear them but now they sound horrifying. Now those beautiful moans and sweet groans make him want to throw up.
He turned and left the room and made his way slowly down the stairs. Descending the stairs felt more demanding than ascending it; his feet felt like lead. His whole skull felt numb like someone just punched him. He walked outside and it was now dark with only the street lights providing any visibility. He sat into his car and let the waves of regret wash over him.